Break ups suck. No matter what, saying goodbye to someone you love is very difficult, whether they were your best friend, significant other or both.
Although romantic breakups are painful, sometimes saying goodbye to a best friend is even harder. Your best friend is the person you go to when you go through a romantic breakup. But who do you go to when you go through a friendship break up?
Here are 5 reasons why friends breakups suck so much more than romantic ones:
#1. You don’t enter into a friendship expecting it to end.
When you begin dating someone new, it’s always in the back of your mind that it may not work out, but when you’re building a friendship, that’s not on your radar. Call it BFF blindsiding, but the end of a friendship feels more jarring because you never saw it coming.
#2. You are your truest self with them.
With a friendship, you tend to show more of your true self sooner — sweatpants from day one. That makes you much more vulnerable: Your friends really know you from the beginning, so if it ends, it’s more of a blow to the ego.
#3. You get closer with a friend more quickly.
You make lasting memories in romantic relationships too, of course, but it tends to happen more quickly in a friendship. When you’re dating, there are more boundaries and a more gradual buildup of closeness and intensity. So it feels like you’ve lost more when you lose a friend; those shared experiences just go poof.
#4. You merge worlds with them.
You’re introducing them to family or other friends a lot sooner because, again, there is not that boundary. No one thinks, Oh, what does it mean if she meets my parents? So friends are around a bigger part of your world from the beginning, and when you’re close to the important people in her life, it feels like you’ve lost more than just one friend.
#5. They know everything.
Friends are the people you confide in about the tough stuff, so losing that confidant feels jarring. Plus, it’s unsettling to know there is someone you’re not close to anymore who knows everything about you. Time to call your other friends (and ice cream and pizza) to the rescue.