*Please read with discretion as this article features a sensitive topic.*
Guys, there is a serious topic we need to talk about. From the title it’s pretty upfront what we’re going to be talking about, so if you find this topic a bit too overwhelming, please stop reading and stay safe and find your happy place. This article might get a little heavy.
Currently there is a rising number of reported suicide cases in Malaysia, especially among our youth. Among them the one student who received mean comments online, and another a mere 15 year old girl who placed second in her classes, and under sheer pressure of her parents.
There is one thing that connects these victims of suicide together: that they were all students when they took their own lives.
What can we conclude from that? That the reasons why they decided to kill themselves off are:
- They were stressed from studying
- They weren’t happy being students
- They were under pressure to be the best
- They were cyberbullied or bullied by peers in institution
- They may have been involved in a romantic relationship in their institution and it killed them more than it helped them grow as persons for whatever reason
- Et cetera., there are other possibilities that I couldn’t think of
I remember being a student once and a suicide case happened. Everybody else talked about it, and personally, I felt like they were all inconsiderate words.
“They’re doing it just for the attention.”
“When will they ever know that suicide is never the answer?”
“They should have just endured whatever crap happened to them. I’ve been depressed once.”
“Why are they so weak anyway?”
Personally, I have been a student, and also suicidal, and I still have suicidal ideations (ideas, like if I stood on a higher ground, and feel like jumping. It’s not a want, it’s just a feeling you can’t exactly help but think of when you’re in that spot). As someone suicidal, I never talked to many people about my feelings but I can say for sure that a lot of us still aren’t very kind to a lot of people who are, and therefore have to hide our feelings in order to stick around with people and have them accept us.
Like, legit, the only one reason why we ever tell you is so that you’ll be our friend, and not judge us for having feelings we can’t help, you know? But there is a fear to tell our students friends just how we feel, we already know you’re going to say the words listed above.
Just listening to someone requires attention, so what’s the meaning of ‘just for the attention’? For us to be seen by the world and get our 30 seconds of fame? Then answer, why are there cases where the victims isolate themselves before committing suicide? Similarly, for those who do it in the public’s eyes, did you ever think to ask them or figure out the reason why? Maybe, perhaps, within them sits the intention to ‘teach’ others that their situation has sent them to this wit’s end.
Anyhow, there are steps we can take in order to help those who suffer from this, and all those who suffer, please read on:
- Talk to your local suicidal hotline (for Malaysians, Befrienders is the way to go)
- Find your happy place, like watching cat videos and listening to some really good and intense ASMR videos
- Eat, the little things remind you of the goodness in life
- Listen to music, music that makes you sad or happy: once you get it out of your system you can keep going
- Do the thing that makes you happy, whether it be drawing or writing your feelings out
- Keep a journal, watch over your emotional and mental health! Please! Keep! A! Journal! Write your innermost thoughts and your issues in it! Please do not be vague, write about it directly! If you hate writing, use a blog and set it to private!
- Talk to someone you know have been suicidal and aren’t judgmental: this is gonna be hard.
- If you’re religious, pray to the God you believe in, read the Scriptures if it gives you peace. If you’re not religious, try and read the Scriptures anyway, somehow you’ll find yourself at least thinking about things and what they mean instead of peace, but at least it gets you out of a suicidal line of thought.
- Use Suicide Safety Plan App, or Stay Alive App.
- Get a therapist, there is a free 7-day trial on BetterHelp App if you’re scared of meeting one personally and physically.
- Go to an animal shelter, or an orphanage, learn just how even when their situations appear hopeless, they still thrive.
Dear students, I know it’s hard to forgive yourself when you’re a student and you have assignments and homeworks to think about and complete but do realise that before your assignments, you have yourself to maintain. So please, take care and make sure you eat and drink enough before you can tackle your assignments. If you need to defer from your studies, please talk to your parents and let them know that studying is overwhelming for you at the moment. If they are accepting of your being suicidal and learning how to cope, lovely. If you know they are going to be judgmental, just let them know it is overwhelming for you right now, and you need time off. If you have parents that just won’t listen, there are plenty other things listed above for you to do in order to maintain your emotional health.
Dear students, know that this is progress. Please don’t force yourself to feel better immediately, please do not put yourself under that pressure. It’s enough that there are people who pressure you, so please don’t do that to yourself. Remember not to trivialise your issues when talking to yourself or writing them down, they’re yours to own.
You don’t have to stand up tall, but stand up anyway. If there’s a thing I have learned from being you, it’s that I know we don’t ever keep ourselves close because we keep putting others’ feelings before ours.
So then, as someone who has been there, let me tell you this: You are dear to me.