The true story of a 15-year-old girl that allegedly committed suicide because she didn’t place first in class has gone viral over the internet since it was posted yesterday Not too long ago, the results for the SPM examinations were released, which prompted a flurry of ‘be proud of your child no matter what they score for SPM’ postings on the internet. As comical and needless as it may sound, the postings actually made a great impact on many parents, who contrary to popular belief, were unhappy with their children’s SPM examination results. [caption id="attachment_9696" align="aligncenter" width="620"] Top students from the SMJK (P) Cina Pulau Pinang celebrating after receiving their results at the school on March 4th, 2016. (Image sourced from The Star)[/caption] Now, while most parents resonated with these online postings, many still felt rather disappointed at their children for not scoring well– which is a dismaying fact, really. A large majority of education-prioritised parents act excessively harsh towards their kids for their substandard examination results, and push them over the edge for better examination results, putting them under phenomenal amounts of stress. Many have endeavoured the most creative of ways to solve this ‘issue‘ but to no avail. However, the story below might just change the mindsets of said parents. Facebook user Khairul Hakimin Muhammad took to social media to share a depressing wake-up-call of a story after it was shared to him by a woman who contacted him online. Below is an English translation of the soul-searching story he shared on his Facebook wall. I’ve been avoiding meeting this particular woman for a month or so. She has been contacting me over and over again, repeatedly and persistently insisting to meet me. She told me that even 10-20 minutes of my time would do. I didn’t think much of it and thought “hey, what’s the worst that could happen?”, and finally agreed to meet her. We arranged for the meeting and met at a restaurant near my studio. As she sat before me, she constantly kept looking down at the table and I could see how hard it was for her to find the words and mutter the courage to tell me what she wanted to. It was a rather awkward situation- and I didn’t feel all too comfortable about it. “I’m about to tell you a story of what I went through. I want you to share this story with everyone. What I went through, is a lesson that everyone needs to learn from,” Gulp. I swallowed hard at the thought of the task that laid before me. I wasn’t sure how to even start the conversation let alone share a story, but I let her tell me her story. As it turns out, the woman was a well-educated woman who was greatly respected in her neighbourhood. Her children are doing well and along with her husband, they are admired and looked up to by their neighbours for their rather comfortable living. She hit rock bottom when her life took a turn for the worse a few years ago, after one of her daughters was found lifeless in her room, hanging from the celling from her prayer robe. Her beloved daughter had ended her own life when at the young age of 15. The woman’s husband was a strong advocate of education, and put a great priority on their children’s examination results, wanting them to become pioneers of the future and champions at life. Any one of their children who gets left behind in their studies, would be sent for intense concentrated classes to bring them up to speed. The priority on their children’s education was so great, that their children could read fluently at the age of four. No playtime, just studying until they grew old. It even grew to a point that their children could not hold a conversation nor mingle with other children their age. They were only good with books and studying. On the year she took her own life, her daughter never once placed first in class. She placed second in class during her trial examinations despite having straight A’s. Without putting much thought, her daughter came home straight from school after getting to know her results, performed her evening prayers, and hung herself. When she hung herself, the entire house blew into chaos. Everybody heard loud noises from the inside of her room and rushed to check on her, but the door was locked and had to be broken down. By the time they entered her room, they were overwhelmed with sadness as she had just breathed her last breath. Distraught, shocked and confused, I immediately asked the woman “Why did she have to hang herself? She just finished her prayers, her prayers! Why did she hang herself??” The woman began sobbing uncontrollably. People at the restaurant started to look at her as she struggled to wipe her tears and stuttered when she tried to continue her story. As it turns out, the night before she went to school to collect her results, she asked her father if one day, God set it in stone that she wasn’t smart and she didn’t place first in class, what would her father do? Her father responded, “Then you’re not my child anymore,” I was at a loss for words, and sat in an eerie silence. At this time, even though the woman hasn’t finished telling the entirety of her story, my eyes were already welling up with tears, just waiting to trickle down my cheek. From a young age, never once did the woman’s husband mingle with her children. He wasn’t good at mingling with the kids, didn’t want to learn how to, and never made an effort to mingle with the kids. What was important to him, was that his children knew how to be successful in life, and knew what direction in life they wanted. Whenever they went to parties or went back to their hometown and so on, their children preferred to mingle with their uncles. They preferred to exchange stories and mingle with their uncles because they had more in common. The daughter who committed suicide always tried to mingle with her father for the entire 15 years of her life. There was a time when she baked a cake for her father on his birthday, but instead of a smile and a word of thanks, he told her “I never asked for a cake. It’s easier to buy one than to waste your energy baking one, get back to studying!” There was also a time when she prepared her father’s favourite breakfast, and once again, instead of a smile or show of appreciation, he sarcastically asked her “What’s the matter? You want to be an Indonesian maid?” The woman told me even more similar examples. I had to excuse myself to head to the washroom for a brief moment. I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer when she showed me a photo of her daughter. Dear God, I continued sobbing in the washroom and had to wash my face. When the woman’s family was making the funeral arrangements for her daughter, there was a small argument with their neighbours. Some neighbours said she was no longer considered a Muslim- no longer one of them, because she had committed suicide- that her grave had to be placed outside of Muslim burying grounds. Many agreed and even gave their two cents on the matter. It was then that the father fell on his knees and begged them to keep the story of his daughter’s death a secret to protect his name. After the funeral arrangements were finished, the woman’s husband disappeared and only returned home after almost two months. Her husband’s return from absence was celebrated with the most heartfelt of happiness. Her children flocked around to see their father, who wasn’t like he was back then anymore. Turns out, during his absence, he only lived in mosques and wandered around. He said, he frequently had nightmares of their deceased daughter begging him to save her from the unforgiving whip, that comes at her like a snake and chokes her, and hangs her by her neck from a tall tree, but he never could save her each time. The same nightmare had repeated in his mind many times, and made him afraid to even fall asleep. The woman then explains that her husband has now come to terms with the fact that he can no longer help his daughter, but can help himself. He is now immensely loving with their other children, always jokes and play around with their grandchildren, and even takes the time to mingle with their children who are now grown up. The woman advised me to not overdo things in life. It’s okay to be firm and strict, but there’s a limit. Nothing should ever be done in excess, even things with good principles. I nodded my head in agreement. Before we parted ways, the woman told me that she had come this far just to meet me, and made me promise that I would write and share the story of her family on my Facebook so that everyone else, especially parents, can learn from her and her husband’s mistakes. Appreciate everything that you love, because when the time of trial and judgement comes, we’ll never know if we can face the music.
My dear friends, I honestly did not feel comfortable with the arrangement and meeting. I am scared and worried for myself, as hearing the woman’s story made me unable to fall asleep. It’s true. Her daughter’s face is forever etched in my memory- covered in a Hijab, with an innocent face, dear God. But she ended her life in such a depressing way. It’s true we are born into this world through a fate made by God, but how we end our story here on earth is our own doing and choice. In all honesty, if the 15-year-old girl had the full embrace of her parents, she most likely wouldn’t have taken her own life. Only the living can learn and pass on their story for others to learn from. I just hope it helps anyone and everyone who reads it in one way or another. Sometimes, God teaches us his lessons in the most painful and fearful way, such as this. Truly Scared, Khairul Hakimin. Muhamad 09/03/2016 Bandar Baru Bangi [caption id="attachment_9697" align="aligncenter" width="459"] Khairul’s Facebook post has garnered over 33,000 likes and 33,000 shares since it was first posted yesterday.[/caption] It goes without saying that the woman’s story, which was shared by Khairul on his Facebook wall, has touched the deepest corners of the hearts of every Malaysian who reads it, and resonated deeply within us, especially with parents. What is your take on the soul-searching story? Do let us know. (Featured image for illustration purposes only) Khairul’s original post on Facebook can be found here.
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To read the article in Chinese, click here.
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