Kids have the tendency of getting into fights and arguments even at a tender age of 6, so how do we parents train them to handle these kinds of disagreements?
Yes, it’s pretty normal for kids to throw tantrums but we should not be encouraging them to react aggressively as this may lead to them thinking it’s okay to behave rowdily and possibly turning them into bullies.
No parents would want their children to be victims of bullying and/or even to become bullies themselves. So this is how we can teach our children to know when and how to defend themselves in an appropriate manner:
Educate them about the things to say when disagreement occurs
Rather than just saying “Be nice”, “Be gentle” or “Don’t be so rough” try using phrases like “Please stop. I don’t like that” or “Please give that back to me, it belongs to me. If you really like it maybe I can share it with you later.”
Kids usually don’t know what it’s like to be “nice” so it’s best if we constantly show them how to be nice with our own actions. Be mindful that children copy and act out what their parents or the surrounding people do.
Telling them it’s okay to apologise
Teach them that it’s okay to apologise as no one is 100% right in any situation. Make it a practice for them to apologise and really mean it. Instead of just stopping at, “I’m sorry for taking your book” educate them to also include an explanation of how they will prevent that from happening again. So it becomes like this, “I’m sorry for taking your book, I will try to not do that again.”
And it will be a bonus if you could teach them to ask for forgiveness. This ‘training’ will most likely make them a humble being.
Becoming a role model for your children
As mentioned earlier, kids tend to follow what they see, so behaving in an appropriate manner in front of your kids does play a major role in bringing up your child.
One too many times I have seen parents lash out at other people due to the person’s inconsiderate actions. And this action right here “allows” your kids to behave in the same manner. Hence, why you should also be controlling your anger when you are around your kids.
Taking time to reflect on their own actions
Just like us, adults, kids also will reach a point where they don’t know how to react to a certain situation, so it would be good if you could give them space and time to figure out how they feel and then see how to go about the situation. We can also ‘instruct’ or encourage them to take some time to reflect on their own actions.
This also encourages them to think and figure out how to get themselves out of sticky or nasty situations with a calmer mind.