1. The Cheap Thirsty Guy (Cheap Johnny Bravo) [caption id="attachment_1770" align="aligncenter" width="800"] Pic Source : Seoulistic.com[/caption]
Cheap Thirsty Guy Type 1
- Has No Money to Pay for XXX
- Hunts for a Free One-Night-Stand
- Enters club to creep on GIRLS
- Tries to be Touchy
- Tries to take advantage of women and to try to Kiss , Hug and Touch them
Not to be confused with an average Johnny Bravo (thirsty men). These guys are a class lower than your average thirsty men. Not only are they thirsty for women, but they have no money to buy them drinks or to hit on them. Cheap Thirsty Guy Type 2
They might even ask their mates for spare change to buy women drinks- most of which turn them down because they see their mates quietly passing them the money for the drinks. These girls who turn them down aren’t gold diggers, no.
These guys are turned down simply by the fact that, having to loan cash from your mates to hit on a girl, is just a major turn off. Also, these guys grind up on and HUG/TOUCH
literally anything that looks feminine. Get them drunk enough and they just might grind up a speaker.
No woman wants to hook up with a man who acts as if his crotch is some sort of sexual sandpaper. God knows what he might have contracted from all that grinding alone- “ Ew, stay away. I bet your d*ck has Ebola”. Cheap Thirsty Guy Type 3
These guys are guys that successfully secured themselves a one-night-stand and are about to take the girl to a nearby hotel- but when these guys and the girls exit the club, he confesses that he doesn’t have a car and suggests taking a cab to a nearby hotel.
The girl agrees and they hop on the cab to the hotel but halfway through, they stop by the nearest 7-Eleven to get some condoms. These guys will ask her for small change to pay for the condoms, ask if she can pay for the hotel room, and borrow money for the cab ride home after the one night stand!
2. The Alcohol Parasite Guy
- Has No Money To Open Bottles
- Hops from one table to another for free drinks
These are guys who basically have no financial means to open a table or even order drinks. They just pay the club’s cover charge, enter the club looking fly (with branded apparel they probably borrowed from their friends or bought from Petaling Street) and hope they might run into someone they know then try to leech from their drinks.
These parasites hop from table to table, leeching other people’s drinks, all while trying to look sociable in order to drink for free. Every table they hit; the drinks hard- like a plague; leaving nothing but a few drops of liquor at the table when they leave.
3. The Sampah Masyarakat Guy
- The Trash Of Society (Sampah Masyarakat)
- No Job , No Money , No Life
These guys literally have no life outside of the club. They live purely by the slogan- “Party Is Life”. Little do they know, if partying is the only thing you do in life, then you have no life. Make no mistake, if you’re a guy who has done well for himself and have millions to dispose any given time, then by all means, go ahead and party like poker king, Dan Bilzerian. But, if you sell ‘curry puffs’ and ‘pisang goreng’ outside Public Bank with a minimum wage pay slip and party like you’re a millionaire, guess where you belong?
These guys sleep at 6am in the morning, wake up at 2 in the afternoon, arrive late to work (that’s IF they work), then party again later at night, then they repeat the process. Sadly, college students make the majority of this social class. This is the reason why most of the youths owe the government so much debt with PTPTN.
4. The Fake Show-Off Guy
- The Walking Definition of Petaling Street
- Wears Counterfeits to show off
- Rents or borrows cars and materials that do no belong to them to act rich
These guys are commonly found sporting the latest trends in branded products like Burberry and Hackett. However, upon closer inspection, one can notice that the branded apparel they wear are in fact, faker than Nicki Minaj’s butt cheeks.
They spend top dollar for Grade A counterfeits to impress friends and people at the club. However, anyone who’s ever owned a branded piece will know instantly that the clothes or belt they are wearing and so proudly boasting, are counterfeits.
Should you see a guys who’s dressed top to bottom in branded apparel enter the club, look around you and try to see the reaction of those who look considerably rich. If they point at the guy and start giggling amongst each other, you can bet your bottom dollar that the guy is sporting counterfeits.
5. The Useless Millionaire’s Son
- Is only capable of spending his family’s money ( Daddy’s Boy )
- Does not know how to earn their own money ( not Independent )
These guys are nothing more than boys whose fathers have deep pockets. They borrow their father’s luxury sports cars and swipe their father’s credit cards at the club to show off. These guys only know how to spend money on their father’s behalf and not know how to earn their own. They are guys who basically have their whole life set- waiting to inherit their fathers’ businesses when they grow older but know nothing about running a business or profiting.
It’s cool if your life is set and you have a rich family- but don’t boast and rub it in everyone’s faces like the money you are spending is your hard earned cash. All you had to do was ask your dad to borrow you his Platinum card. Another thing about these guys is that they get all arrogant in the club and piss off a lot of people with their grand ways of partying. You can start a fight with them but we promise you that they won’t know how to fight back in a battle of fists. Instead, you can expect a letter from their lawyer the next day.
6. The Boring Guy (The Wallflower)
- The Wallflower
- Has no money to pop bottles so just hangs around in the corners
These guys are essentially harmless. They pay the cover charge for entry to the club but don’t order any drinks or book any tables. They just hang around the far corners of the club like wallflowers and meddle with their phones or just scan the crowd while bobbing their heads to the beat of the music every now and then.
They have no money to spend at the club but go clubbing anyways. Maybe it’s because they enjoy the atmosphere or it’s because they want to enjoy some good music. We’ll never know for sure. Their thinking matrix is complicated to say the least.
7. The Numerous Loan Recipient Guy
- Has no money to repay their debts but have money to party
- Borrows money just to open bottles and party in the club
- Goes around telling people they have no money but can always be seen in the club
These guys are already in a tight financial situation and by all means, should avoid places like nightclubs and anything that is costly and drains money- but they don’t. Even though their bank accounts run dry, they continue to party like it’s a responsibility and way of life.
They manage to continue their nightlife by loaning money from friends and family members- of which, is never returned (most of the time). Despite their empty bank accounts, they don’t mind adding more debts to their already long list of debts and pop bottles like lil Jon.
Their ego pushes their stupidity and disregard for financial stability to soaring heights. They don’t mind declaring themselves bankrupt as long as they are able to continue their façade of wealth in the clubbing scene.
8. The Check-In Bumpkin
These guys have little to no money and can’t afford spending at Zouk but want the world to think that they are ‘ballers’ in the night scene. So they just enter Zouk and pay for only the cover charge, stand by the walls in silence by themselves or sometimes, with friends who have the same mindset, and check in on social media to impress their friends who genuinely thinks they are getting wasted and throwing fat stacks in Zouk – but in reality, they just pay for Zouk’s cover charge and hang around like complete creeps.
9. The Fake VVIP
- The VVIP’s Father’s Brother’s Sister’s Cousin’s Nephew’s Classmate
- Acts like a VVIP just because they know someone who knows a VVIP
- Shows off and pretends that they are some sort of VVIP when the truth is that they’re a bunch of nobodies
These are guys who act as ‘fillers’ for the VVIP section of Zouk. They are by no means, the high rollers that booked the table and paid for the mind-blowing bill, but rather, someone who knows the VVIP from a friend’s friend and was lucky enough to get an invitation to the table.
They act all high and mighty around people who are from normal tables in the club- prideful of the fact that he is from the VVIP table. They boss people around, especially waiters, in hopes that people think that they are the VVIP and maybe it could be a gateway for them to score digits from a lady.
However, when the waiter comes to the table with the bill for the drinks, their boss act disappears and they shy away into a dark corner while the real VVIP pays for the bill- then they come back out of the cave and continue their act.
10. The Mr. Macho Macho Guy
- Fights in or outside the club ( or anywhere that has women )
These testosterone-infused guys choose to settle any small dispute with their fists instead of using words. Their rage to fight is driven solely by the eyes and attention of women in the club who look at them when they confront someone and ask them to step outside to settle an argument with their fists.
These pricks with galaxy-sized egos jump at the very idea of a fight, believing that demonstrating their skills in hand to hand combat will get them respect and attention from women- basically small boys with an even smaller mindset.
They act all high and mighty, like they are the biggest triad member to ever step into KL. They live in the fantasy that their family is the head of a Yakuza division and that they swim in money, power, and women. Funny thing is, when a fight is over, they are often on the losing end as they are all bark and no bite.
Then, waiters will clean up the mess and hand him the bill for the damage, to which he has to ask his mother to come by the club with a cheque because he can’t afford to pay for the damages- followed by the walk of shame when the bouncer walks them out in a grand parade of shame and disappointment.
Rich and powerful, eh?
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